August 26, 2011
I ask of you neither eternal love, nor fidelity, but simply…truth, unlimited honesty
warning
word to warning to self: go easy on the cryptic level. 2 years down the road, you yourself would not get it!
and yes! right now, you’re unbelievably happy and contented. that’s why you don’t blog no more.
0456
*oh my god. i just experienced actually losing a draft and i was going so well too!
i was sayingggg,
…………….
oh yeah, i realise what usually happens before i end up on wonderwalled.wordpress.com. i exhaust usual time-wasting internet banalities.
1. facebook: look up old friend’s profiles and realise i have no clue who’re the people writing on their walls. then i feel so sorry that our friendship is at it’s current state and experience a moment of regret. but i know i don’t deserve to play it out like i’m a victim, i don’t stay in touch cause i’m lazy and i don’t enjoy the awkward ‘how’s life….’ when we finally meet. it’s a lousy way of showing how much i care huh. (make mental note to consciously keep in touch with old friends)
2. blog-hopping: my way of living vicariously through others. you’ll be surprised how much i make do with virtual living, it seriously feel like i’m out/i eat nice food/i shop as much as them.
3. distracted internet surfing: referring to aimless, pointless google-ing of pretty actresses, funny videos and trailers, tidbits of trivia like ‘what are the types of steak’ and ‘sicily, italy’ and ‘top chef season 9′.
(by the way, this essay is turning out completely different from what i wrote before it was all GONE. i just remember writing points 1,2,3 but the words are now totally different. this is not easy. i can now empathize with writers and their premise on the importance of inspiration.)
so anyway, today i figured that sometimes you just gotta type your heart out no matter if you’re happy or sad. it just feels nice to find a string of words that accurately describe whatever’s going on in your head. especially when you’re not in the field of creative writing, and your sentences usually go like this, the parameters was obtained from… it’s just so good when i can do thisssss. ha ha 
on a random note, i wanna be that fair and have that hair and tie it with that ribbon.
June 5, 2011
i love re-reading my sparse blog
SO SILLY! Blogging is archaic compared to tweeting and tumblr-ing. I already have and do not maintain my blog so there’s really no point to start on anything else. But when i do read my blog, i’m grateful that i did take time to put down things i found super interesting into this space. Somewhere down my main page, it says, Love because it is the only true adventure. (: If i didn’t blog it, i would have forgotten all about it and that would be a shame.
I do miss writing. I miss reading! I haven’t been reading fiction cause well i’ve been trying to keep abreast to the news and read economic and investment articles HAHA man, it isn’t going well but i must try, i am going to be 22 this year. I don’t believe it myself, i still feel no different from 16 or perhaps 6 sometimes. It confuses me how i can let myself be so frivolous and carefree in such an intense world.
I’ve been opened up to the world of war journalism recently (i realised how ill-informed i was about the war in Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel and felt quite ashamed of myself) It is truly incredible what these people do, and the faith that they have in delivering as much of reality as possible to the public. There are so many people like this doing such difficult things as daily JOBS. Hence, i feel quite responsible to inform myself and absorb like a sponge the knowledge that these people have created. But there isn’t enough time! and i love the big bang theory too much to not watch it and ROFL.
SO HOW!
One more thing, i’m also trying to start preparing for my official steps into adulthood i.e first full time job, first paycheck, first rented room (hence the futile attempts to read grown-up stuff!) [see what i mean by there's not enough time!!] It is still a year away but i need to start thinking about what i need to do in the coming days to ease the transition as much as possible. hall has been good to me, gave me things i will love for life (: but sadly i have outgrown this room, i want things it cannot provide for me now but i feel melancholic about leaving it entirely.
Anyway, i’m trying to sort myself out more, there’s so much room for improvement. this blog itself is scattered exactly like my scattered brain. if i blog more, it wouldn’t come out like this, but this will have to do. Must go compartmentalize my life now, my brain has been on happy lala mode for too long. it’s like i’m on standby for what i don’t know.
(feel quite hungry after typing all those words. maybe i’ll eat before i go and change my world. )
March 12, 2011
“There’s nothing quite like the feeling when you listen to a song written by someone whom you don’t know, who you’ve never met, who somehow manages to describe exactly how you’ve felt at a particular moment in your life. If you’ve ever had a broken heart, you’re about to remember it now”
The perfect prelude to a something so bittersweet. I’ll never get enough of these moments.
November 16, 2010
Run
Baby, run, cut a path across the blue skies
Straight in a straight line
You can’t get here fast enough
Find a truck and fire it up
Lean on the gas and off the clutch
Leave Dallas in the dust
I need you in a rush
So baby run
October 17, 2010
This space
I forgot I had this space! I’ve been reading a lot of blogs these days, while escaping the reality of work and suddenly I just felt like doing a little freestyle writing. Stumbled upon Tumblr the other day, and it looked like a pretty cool, emo hangout, it’s easy expression, all you have to do is retumblr what other people posted that resonates with you. But, I got stuck coming up with my tumblr account name. Story of my life.
March 25, 2010
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sigh. why do i feel so wrecked. think i’m in the middle of a major emotional breakdown. faith escapes me
January 11, 2010
whenever i leave one country to greet another, my heart feels like it’s going to implode. it’s so cute how all of us from different parts of msia and spore and australia and uk get to reunite once again and make more inside jokes and remember what we were like. we’ve spent the last few years in each other’s lives, do you think we’ll be so lucky to share the next years of our lives? this 5 weeks holiday has been even better than the last now that it’s about to end, i miss my sheares room.
